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Smoker's BreakThe smoke from her mouth was a perfect mimic of the clouds that day. The tracks in the sky were long and scattered. Almost like and angel dragged her fingers through the sky. In an attempt to make the clouds go away. This attempt was obviously unsuccessful. She inhaled the tobacco smoke. Exhale. Trying to be the angel on earth she broke the cloud with fingers spread far apart. The cloud separated and the dissipated into the chilled air.
So much had happened in such a short period of time. It was difficult to believe everything was falling apart. It had seemed so fool proof. The only thing that had stayed the same was the sky she was staring at. The clear blue sky. She wished she could be in the sky. To fly away from this place that kept her prisoner in her own mind. If not forever then long enough for her to forget all the disarray unfolding in front of her. Maybe flying would help ease all the emotions cluttering her thoughts. She felt the cool breeze upon her face. The gusts were a s
An odd thing to be free. You are the only person that can set yourself
free. No one can take it or give it. It can be the best gift or the
worst punishment. The trick is to find what makes you feel freedom.
For me it's the feel of wind on my face. The rush of serenity. How it
can open all of your senses at the same time. America seems to think
they can capture the feeling if being free in a document. I think it's
written in the stars. Woven into the earth. And it's the same feeling
you get when you know you are doing something big right. The forward
motion life rakes on when freedom is in it. The progressive march
towards something huge. Something bigger than us. All of us. And we
will all feel it. If only it could be all at the same time. What a
difference that one moment would make.
AddictionYou never think it's going to happen to you. Its an extension of your body. That tugging nag you feel when you can't have it. The numbness that takes over when you can. A release. It's as if it has a smirk on it's evil constant face because it knows you will be back for more. No matter how many times you "quit" it is always in the back of your mind begging you to come. To steal a taste. It holds you without touch. Keeps you without chains. You breathe it. You need it. Something bad will happen if you can't have it. Something scary that we don't want to deal with. We just keep on doing it because it helps the pain of being truly alone. You know you shouldn't but you want to. Neither friend nor foe. All it does is beat you further and further down. Into a place that is cold but familiar. Soon you never want to leave. And it gets worse. And better. And then you just wish you never got anywhere near it. And then you want to die. They say it will get better but it doesn't. And it won't. The
darkness...In my darkness there is comfort. There is a sense of consistency.
Something my life lacks. And in this dark there are huge ravenous
things that want to take you away from what you call happiness. They
want to twist your mind into tricks and gruesome urges. And we are
taught to fight them. And you will every time. You will fight the
monsters because you value something worthless. The difference between
you and me is that I let them come for me snarling and gnashing. I
let them take me to do things I will soon regret. The little nightmare
imps tug and pull at my toes and fingers. They trick me into going
too deep. And loosing connection to a world I once knew. Now I don't
hesitate when they come for me in the middle of the night, in the
still almost silent darkness. I go willingly because I know a secret
that you don't. I know that I am better off not fighting my demons. I
know that they will set me free one day. Free from a loveless world.
Free from the tired streets that sme
the world is quiet...The world is quiet and there is a light cool breeze. I get the notion
that there is no one else on this earth feeling the way I do. I know
that the nightmare will take my mind prisoner soon. The horizon
surrounding me is gray and blue with orange highlights. The orange
fades into a sinking dull brown.
I look off to the distance and long to be where the angels are.
Where they watch over everyone but me. For some reason they cannot see
me. I never did anything wrong. They preside over all the people on
this earth dancing and singing but somehow they forgot the girl crying
into the sleeve of her sweatshirt. If I could talk to one of them I
would ask why they would continue to let me live in such misery when
they could just dispatch me with a flick of their finger. And does it
not make them cruel to point and laugh at my pain? And is it enough
that I have to deal with the loneliness but must I also wish to die
and never have it granted?
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More